During my search for the ONE, I ended up in a relationship with a tattooist.
The story with him was complicated to say the least.
He was a crazy guy, but I was in love with him. We were together a few months before I realised our relationship would never go anywhere. He was a complete flirt, and never cared for me too much I guess. He was too much in love with his Jack Daniel. So I started to detach myself but couldn't bring myself to leave him, so ultimately the relationship ended thanks to him.
He was a violent drunk and I was happy to be rid of him. I just wish I put a stop to it myself. As it turned out, he left me one night when I discovered he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. I was quite relieved to tell the truth, they deserved each other, but still very hurt.
A week after, he called me at 3am on a Thursday night, completely drunk, saying that he wanted to see me. I said no way, but he said he was coming over anyway. There was nothing I could do to stop him and I knew he meant it and that he would come over. When I heard him knocking and kicking at my door over and over again, my stomach tensed so much, I was sick with worry. I was afraid he would wake up my flatmates, so I let him in. BIG MISTAKE.
He was very drunk and emotional and kept saying that he wanted to start again with me. I played it cleverly and did not reject him, but I pleaded with him to just sleep on the sofa and that we would talk about it the next day. Was he going to shut up and sleep? Of course not. He kept going on and on about all sorts of nonsense, until I got very upset and asked him to leave.
At that point he lost it and grabbed me from behind to choke me. I knew he didn't want to strangle me, just to scare me, but I had enough of it and wriggled free of him and dialled 999 (in the UK it's not 911). Just before the police answered I hunged up. I do not know why, I just did not want to create trouble for him. Even though I certainly did not love him anymore, I unfortunately still had feelings for him. Having understood what I was trying to do, he grabbed my hair so hard, a big chunk of it came out in his hand and I fought back and pushed him hard - the pain was so much in my head, it was like he took the scalp off. At that point the phone rang.
I never knew at the time that the police would trace your call and call you back if you hang up. So they did, and thank God they did, and when I picked up the phone I was in tears and desperate, so I gave them my address. Things quietened down then, so I asked him to leave before the police arrived. I did not want him to go to prison, I just wanted him gone. Maybe wrong, but that was what I felt at the time.
He would not leave, he said 'bring it on'. In the meantime of course my flatmates woke up and came to my aid while we were waiting for the police to arrive.
When they got there, he resisted to go but at the end he went with them. I said I did not want to press charges, I just wanted him out of my house and out of my life forever.
The last I saw of him, he was entering the police van. That was 7 years ago.
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13 comments:
Well, I am glad it turned out the way it did. Sometimes women are too trusting and they end up getting hurt in the end.
Thanks, I learned that lesson for sure. I hope the guy has changed, but probably not.
Also, thanks for adding my blog to your approved list!
Men who abuse women are on the top of my shit list. Takes a big man to beat on a helpless woman.
What is the holiday season like in London?
I love that you wanted to share that story!
I never seen one of my boyfriends be taken away in a police car... one drove a police car, because he was a cop... and one was a building manager... all I need is the native american, and you can say I've dated the Village People! :)
I say we all grow through our experiences. Thank God it all turned out the way it did - otherwise it would have been a lesson far too expensive to learn!
Take care!
Wow Erica ~ I can't imagine dealing with that. I love that you write about both the good and bad things that have happened in your life.
I just wish that you would write more often. I check every day for something new.
Most women that I know have been in an abusive relationship. I haven't ever been hit, choked or assaulted by a man. I don't know if I am lucky or if I get the ones instead that like to mess with your head.
I did get into a fight with a room mate once. It ended in a stale mate but I will tell you, that chick could punch. She hit me so hard that my contact flew right out of my eye.
God,that sounds awful, you so did the right thing - if he wouldn't leave even when the police were coming who knows how it could've ended. Good for you for being strong.
Anon1 - yes, some guys are so insecure, they feel better attacking women. On a lighter note, the holiday season here is great, windy and rainy, but great! I will be in Italy for the Xmas period, with my family, so I am looking forward to that for sure.
Heart of Darkness - Thank you, I didn't start the post wanting to write about this, but it just came out and at the end, I had to change the title of it!
Rachel - sometimes the ones that mess with your head are even worse. In a way at least you know what you are up against if it's physical.
I will try to write more often, promise and thanks for checking every day!
Julia - for a while I felt sort of bad that I did call the police, but looking back it was the only right thing I did in the entire nine months together.
Going to Italy for XMAS would be awesome!
well i am glad he's gone. He definitely sounds like a bad one.
WOW. wow, wow, wow. That is absolutely awful. I cannot believe you went through that. Quite truthfully, one of my biggest fears is being with an abuser. You really never know--those who seem so placid and calm when sober can be absolute monsters when under the influence. That must have been such a terrifying experience for you...I cannot even begin to imagine. I am SO GLAD you've never seen him again.
My ex used to have a sever drinking problem. He'd come over at all hour so the day and noght drunk and in semi-fugue states. he'd speak in different voices, bang on walls, etc. That's a scary thing to be involved with. I'm glad you're okay.
But this post makes me think about something else. Why do some many people try to push their partner away with bad behavior rathen than just end things all together?
RYC: I haven't gotten your vote... when and where did you vote?
Can you do it again - please? :)
Marissa - I kind of did see him again, by chance in a bar. I don't think he saw me, but I just quickly sneaked out and left.
Cheryl - yes, he was a bad one! Should had never got involved with him.
Sex & Moxie - thanks for your comment, I would check out your blog but the link does not work.
Heart - I voted again in the comments section of your last post!
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