I recently read a book about dependency and addictions in general, as I was very interested about the psychology of it all. I have always considered myself to have an addictive personality and so I wanted to explore what it all meant.
I found out many interesting factors but most importantly the book explained that sometimes we substitute one addiction with another. I started wondering what will I substitute my addiction to cigarettes with. I have successfully managed to cut down from 20 a day to 5 a day since one year and half ago, when I turned 30, and at Christmas I will be quitting for good. We will start trying for a baby and so smoking will come to a natural end.
I also wondered about the people around me and what their addictions are and even if they have any. Some people appear to have no addictions or compulsions at all and I can't help but admire them. Take my sister for example, she doesn't drink or smoke, she works a lot, she has one kid, pregnant with her second, she cleans the house every day and cooks like Martha Stewart, she is not too attached to telly or books, even though she enjoys both, she doesn't own a computer, so we can rule out the Internet, she doesn't overspend, but actually is a great saver, so what does she have? Is she superwoman?
I hope to one day become a good mother and a good cook like she is, but I know I will always need props. Props is what the book talked about in terms of addictions. It explained that addictions are like props, props to help us in this life, to make us forget that we don't know why we are here, and that we don't know where we are going once we die. There are healthy props and unhealthy props. I hope to give up the unhealthy ones, but it is a difficult process, to walk unaided, without crutches, because that's what my props are, just crutches to help me walk in this life. Why can I not walk without? I don't know.
My props at the moment are telly, books and cigarettes. One has to go for sure, the other two can stay, as long as they don't become compulsive and take over my life.
Can you walk without crutches and if not, what are your props?
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7 comments:
I think everyone has props, even your sister. You might not see them but they are there. Or maybe hers is cleaning or something like that...Everyone needs a way to cope.
i'm a control freak. a totally neurotic control freak. every second of every day has to be planned; accounted for. i drive myself crazy with my rigidity. i've really tried to loosen up and go with the flow (incidentally, i have the most fun in life when i do this), but it's so tough for me. i also am addicted to running and physical activity. when i don't do it, i get a bit depressed. no good. my mom has a crazy addictive personality (much more so than mine). i definitely think i get this from her. :)
You're right, you do have an addictive personality - I'm slightly addicted to you... :D
Jokes aside - it's amazing how much we substitute our needs and wants. They say, recovering alholoics or drug addicts often fall into another form of addiction - sex, candy etc. A friend, trying to quit smoking, started chewing gum. She was the physical epiphany of a cow, constantly chewing. Three bags of gum a day (a 30 pieces each). Then she stopped chewing and started smoking again.
Everybody have some sort of an addiction. Some are just less healthy then others... :)
I have a couple of props. I am addicted to Diet Pepsi and am a total bookworm.
I also tend to try and plan things for my friends. Going out together or having everyone over for a game night and such.
I am sure that the appreciate it but every once in a while it would be nice to not be the planner.
I'm afraid I'm one of these annoying people who have no props as such. I don't smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol/coffee/colas, watch too much TV or read too many books. I spend a lot of time on the internet, but I'll happily give it up if I have other "social" things to do, such as go to a party, or to the cinema, or spend time with friends etc.
The only thing that I'm aware I'm "addicted" to is chocolate, but if I don't have any for a couple of days I happily forget about it.
I guess I just don't have an addictive personality - but worry not, I neither clean the house every day nor cook like Martha Stewart, so I'm not really a superwoman ;-)
Cheryl - you are right, we all need something. I think I am idolizing my little sis a bit sometimes, as we are far away, but I hope to achieve what she has.
Marissa - I am also working on being less rigid, my husband always says that I don't like anything unplanned. Then when he manages to convince me and go with the flow, I also end up having much fun!
Heart - I am sad to hear she started smoking again, chewing gum would be better in the long run. I think that when I will quit smoking for good, I will be eating many sweets! Not good for my teeth, but at least I will have my life back!
Rachel - you should tell them to plan for you sometimes, but I admire your ability - whenever I plan a party or something, I am always stressing out about everything going perfectly, that I end up not having much fun!
Tinsie - you are a supergirl! You are always happy and full of life, what's your secret? :)
Oh, I just realized one thing - my main prop is my purse! Actually, any purse. I feel completely naked without it. Can't put things into pockets or keep them in my hands...
And high heeled shoes. Never leave home without it. An ex of mine laughed, saying that as long as I've got my stilletos on and a purse in hand, I could go naked and feel great. I replied "you wish!".
:D
Take care
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