Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Don’t I look 30 years old?

Every time someone asks my age and I say 30 y.o., they understand 40! My Italian accent really lets me down in this instance.
Then they say: ‘but you don’t look 40 at all!!!
‘Well of course I don’t, I am THIRTY’.

By this point, they feel very embarrassed and wish they could disappear, while I feel very stupid. I know I don’t look 40, but just the thought that it’s not sooo absurd to people that I might be 40 upsets me.
I only hope that when I am 40, I will look like I am 30!!!

My husband saved me though when he said that I still look the same to him as the day he met me, when I was 25 years old.
Which is sweet, very sweet, but probably not true. :)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Night terrors

Yesterday I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart was racing and I was so scared for some unknown reason. The first thing I did was to check on my husband's breathing, I am not sure why, but in that moment it was my first instinct. When I was sure he was ok, I got up and switched on all the lights in our flat and looked around everywhere.
I knew nobody could possibly have entered the house, but somehow I couldn't go back to sleep if I didn't check.
As soon as I did this and went back to bed, my heart went back down to a normal rhythm.
This has never happened to me before and I am not sure what did happen. I didn't have a bad dream, I didn't eat or drink anything that would have made my heart race so much or wake me up so suddenly in the middle of the night.
I am not sure what it was, but I was so scared like I never have been before in my life. Somehow I felt a negative presence in the house and I couldn't explain it any other way.
I am trying to rationalize this, but I cannot come up with any rational explanation.
I hope I can sleep tonight!