Wednesday, August 23, 2006

New York Photos

Just a few photos of my trip in New York last February.
It was the best time ever, loved NY so much, cannot wait to go back as soon as possible.

Here is the first one with a view of New Jersey

Fog above 5th Avenue

View from the Brooklyn Bridge

Grand Central Station

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Don't have a clue what to write today - I am bored, utterly bored, sitting at my desk, surfing the internet all day (my boss is on holiday). I know I should do some work, but there isn't much to do and that little there is, I just can't be bothered to do it. All year I long for August so that I can relax at work and not do anything, but every year I then get so incredibly bored that I end up working anyway.

3 hours 1/2 to go until I get out of this dark horrible basement where I work (it's a furniture showroom) - the walls are painted a horrible shade of green/gray, my desk is blindingly white and the spotlight above is cooking my brain on a daily basis - the rest of the place has hardly any lights - they call it ''ambience''. They don't care that people actually work here - all they care is how the place looks.. Well the place looks sh*t. It's depressing and makes me feel sleepy. Plus it's just me and the boss down here - you can hear me breathing, that's how silent this place is. You can hear me munching my lunch at my desk (yes there is a kitchen where one could eat, as long as one doesn't mind eating while standing) - I hate it. The others are upstairs and they hate it too, but for different reasons. And it's freezing in the winter, even with the heating at full blast.

You must think I am mad to stay here - but hear me out..the place is horrible, but the people I work with are really nice, and even my boss is ok after all. The pay is really good for what I do - I am admired and respected by everybody, clients and colleagues, and I have lots of freedom. I come in late twice - three times a week, nobody says anything, and I have 26 vacations days, which is pretty good by any standard. It sounds like I don't do any work, but I actually work really hard and that's why I get to do what I want and I get respect and admiration. I feel I should actually say I USED to work really hard, as I must admit that the past few months I haven't cared at all, at least not as much as I used to for 5 long years. I keep doing the minimum necessary and hope I get away with it..

I feel like I am still relying on that respect gained earlier in the years, to excuse any mistake that happens and lately my mistakes are happening a lot more.
People excuse me because they know how good I am and everything, but it ain't going to last forever!

It sounds horrible, I know, and that is just not me, I have a very strong work ethic and I usually always loved working hard, so I really don't know what is going on with me. Then sometimes the guilt gets the better of me and I work hard for a few days, but then the low comes back again, and so it goes up and down, highs and lows. I wonder if it is the job or just me? Maybe I am unconsciously sabotaging this job?

AHHHHH! I think I need another job or another me!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

A Start....

Ever since I was 15 and I discovered Leo Buscaglia, I have been reading and re-reading his books to try and learn to live by his words. Every time I read his words, I know that’s exactly how I should live and think. Not that I can’t think for myself, but I admire so much his thinking and agree with pretty much everything he says. You can be the judge of this. Here is a little something he wrote a few years back:

A Start by Leo Buscaglia

Each day, I promise myself not to try to solve all my life problems at once -- nor shall I expect you to do so;

Starting each day, I shall try to learn something new about me and about you and about the world I live in, so that I may continue to experience all things as if they had been newly born;

Starting each day, I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair, so that we can know each other better;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view and to discover the least-threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we are both growing and changing in a hundred different ways;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection of you until I am perfect, so you're safe;

Starting each day, I shall try to be more aware of the beautiful things in our world -- I'll look at the flowers, I'll look at the birds, I'll look at the children, I'll feel the cool breezes, I'll eat good food -- and I'll share these things with you;

Starting each day, I shall remind myself to reach out and touch you, gently, with my words, my eyes and with my fingers, because I don't want to miss feeling you;

Starting each day, I shall dedicate myself again to the process of being a lover -- and then see what happens;

Is this a bit too sugary? I don't want to appear as a preacher, I was worried about posting this, but I love each and every word of this transcript. I hope you like it and can take something from it.
I try and live by his words, but often real life comes in and distracts me...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Things I have learned in London

Since I have been in London (it will be 10 years October 6th!), I have been through a lot of bad and good experiences, and have learned so many important things.
I came here a young naive 21 year old from Italy and have now become a 31 year old Londoner (but still an Italian at heart!)

So here is a list of what I have learned in the 10 years just gone:

Useless/Useful things I have learned:
To use chopsticks
To read my paper standing in a crowded metro carriage
To always always carry un umbrella in my purse, even when it seems hot and sunny
To walk fast avoiding slow or stationery tourists (it is a useful skills actually, especially when late!)
To dance flamenco
To wait tables and pull pints! (yep, my first jobs in London!)

Important things I have learned:
Well, to speak English (and write - hopefully well enough:)
To have fun!
To drive (wasn't easy, as you might read here failed again...grrr)
My job - where I am respected and rewarded for my hard work (not waiting tables anymore..)

mmmmm, can't think of much else yet.....surely there is more! That's got to be, but can't think of anything else right now.

Things I have never learned and doubt I ever will....

To cook (even though I think I am good, my husband sort of disagree...)
To budget my money - can't help it, I work in an office in the middle of the shopping district of London, temptation is everywhere, especially shoes!

The only question that I have is, would I have learned all those important things if I had been somewhere else? Yes, probably, but would I be who I am today? Probably not.
Do we even care to speculate who would I have been, if I had never left Italy or went to NY instead of London? No, but it is a slow day here in the office :)

Jokes aside, I do wonder sometimes how and who would I be instead, but I am happy with myself and would not want to be any different. All the bad and good things I had to go through, they were worth it in a way, as I have learned to love myself.

And that must be the most important thing I have learned.

Ginger please come back!

Just as I decided to get my blog redesigned by Ginger at BabyJane, she has unfortunately decided to call it quits! I loved her work so much that I am sad I have missed out on this opportunity. No other designer I have checked out seems to be as good as her.

I'll wait a couple of months in the hope that she changes her mind...