Friday, November 10, 2006

Shattering my life

Thanks to Anon1 ;), I am taking the chance to talk briefly about my accident in 1995 when I broke my leg and received a sum of money from the insurance.
This was an event that destroyed my life as I knew it then, but thankfully not forever, just for a year. An event that made me lose my job, my boyfriend, my independence, my apartment, everything I loved and worked hard for.
This is the story of how I lost a year of my life for something I thought would only take a few weeks and a white cast that all my friends would sign.

My boyfriend at the time (the same one I went to London with) was driving us in my bike in Rome when a car coming from the left hit me,just my leg, shattering every single bone in many pieces. The hit was so hard and my shock was so much that I didn't know what had happened. The lady that hit me, got out of her car and tried to make me walk and put me in her car to take me to the hospital, but I couldn't move, I was so scared to even look down at my leg for fear of what I would see. The pain was not immediate, the shock stops it at first. My boyfriend was unharmed and white as a sheet, I don't think he said a word, he was also in complete shock.

The ambulance came and took me to hospital where they cut off my jeans and my boots and I saw blood, lots of it. The pain was now unbearable, but I still thought that they would let me go after they put a cast on me. I didn't realise that this was not a simple fracture, I didn't realise that I would spent the next 20 days in hospital, I didn't realise that I would get used to operations and anesthesia and nurses and doctors and that maybe I would always limp.

After a 4 hours operation the doctors were able to put it all back together and they advised me that there had been a chance that I would not have walked perfectly again, but the operation went very well. My life then was the hospital and the highlight of the day was the morning visit from the doctors when it was time for their rounds. Life was boring, painful, scary, I felt trapped, I kept asking 'why me?', I missed my real life so much. The first feelings are of disbelief, then anger, then depression. After a while in the hospital though, I felt like a spoiled kid for even complaining so much, as all I had was a broken leg, a complicated one, but still only a broken leg. I opened my eyes to everybody around me and it made me realise that I was actually very lucky.

Before the accident I was living with my boyfriend but then, as I needed 24 hours day and night care, I had to go back to live with my parents. I could not move from my bed for up to three months and my mum had to do everything for me. I hated being dependent so much from everybody, I felt hopeless, couldn't take a shower or do anything at all, my mum had to wash me and do everything for me. I spent nights awake from the pain and days asleep, I spent hours reading and reading and living in my own world. I made a promise to myself then, to remember always how precious things that we take for granted really are.

My parents lived 2 hours away from where I used to stay with my boyfriend in Rome, so I went from living with him, to seeing him once a week for a few hours. This crashed me more than anything, I loved him and I felt him slipping away slowly, I felt I was the outsider in his life, I felt I was not part of it anymore.

After recovering for a few months and a couple of operations to get some rods out of my leg, I was well enough to limp with crutches and I decided to move back into my flat with my boyfriend. But my flat wasn't my flat anymore. He couldn't afford it anymore on his own, so he moved out and moved to a smaller one. I didn't even have a chance to move, everything was moved for me. After a month at the new flat with him, he left me. He said he didn't love me anymore. I suppose I should have thanked him for waiting until I was well enough....
I felt like my world crashed down once more.

I moved back to my parents feeling pretty low. Before the accident I had a job, a flat, a boyfriend, now I had nothing. I guess as I got the money from the insurance, I felt I really needed it and deserved it and I regret now that I spent it all, but somehow that was what I needed to do.
After a month at home, I ended up getting back with my boyfriend, stupid move, and then after a few months we moved to London together, as you know. I still had not touched my money though, that would start in London after splitting for the last time, see My story in London so far...part 2.
I could have got more money if I took the insurance company to court, but decided not to, I didn't care. The amount I got was 14 thousand dollars. Not an incredible amount of money, but not bad either, I could have bought a nice car or any number of things, but I was 20 and didn't know any better and I preferred spending it bit by bit, day by day, until it was all gone.

7 comments:

Rachel said...

I am not sure what to say other than I can't imagine how painful and boring that must have been for you. I am sure you didn't have any Dr. McDreamy's coming in your room.

Fourteen thousand seems a small amount for what you went through. I haven't ever sued anyone either but can understand the temptation. Especially when your quality of life is drastically altered.

Did you end up with a limp?

Erica said...

Thanks Rachel, it WAS extremely boring. I limped for a while after, but no thankfully not as a permanent feature. Let's just say I couldn't be a ballet dancer though!! My ankle is much stiffer and less flexible than the other one, but probably because I should have done more physiotherapy. And I have got two massive scars on my leg, which are now part of me!
Talking of McDreamy's, there was one doctor I had a crush on actually, I forgot about that, he was really the highlight of my day; everytime he would do the rounds, I would try to make myself look nice and would blush if he talked to me. He probably never knew I existed! I remember him as a Noah Wyle from ER, but maybe that's just my distorted memory!

ANON1 said...

That is not a good story. I had my jaw broken by a sucker punch and had to sit around for 7 weeks drinking ENSURE.

You should have sued her for more money. When someone does something that stupid they deserve to get sued. Here in America, our car insurance covers lawsuits up to a certain amount. I always max out on mine and guess what? Two fakers sued me this year after I hit their car going 25MPH.

The scumbag trial lawyer handling the case asked for $75,000 for each person. One got $5,000 and the other got $9,000. Take out lawyer's fees and expenses and those dirt merchants were left with nothing.

Hope the leg is better.

Cheryl said...

Ouch. I have totaly sympathy pains for you. I can't even imagine. Glad you made it through.

Erica said...

Thank you anon1. I couldn't imagine how frustrating must have been not to be able to eat for 7 weeks. Eat was the only thing I could probably do just fine, but didn't as I was never hungry being in bed all day. My leg is fine, just some fading scars. I am glad you have a blog now, I will surely check it out!

Cheryl, it was good to write about it, I needed to remind myself of the pain, because the mind makes you forget, and I don't want to forget. I learned so much about myself and grew up because of my experience.

Dizzie said...

There are moments in life that forces us to redefine ourselves and where we are heading.

What might seem as a disaster at that very moment, might turn out saving out lives.

Sorry you had a lousy time, though.

Marissa said...

Thank GOD you made it through that horrific accident and experience and you're still here to tell the tale -- not to mention you've learned and grown so much for the trauma. You're very strong and your story of pain and then recovery is incredibly inspiring. Thank you for sharing it.