I am listening to my Italian music and travelling back in time. It feels great to just give in to the nostalgia and be transported for one afternoon back to Italy, back to Rome.
I miss the sunshine, I miss the ice creams in the afternoon, the rides on the Vespa on a Sunday on our way to the center.
I miss Rome and its effortless beauty.
I miss the streets with its shops and its fountains and the people laughing and walking around on a summer evening. I miss our river, the Tiber, so slow and beautiful, the red sunset, the romance of it all. The red wine and the pizza, the air, the smell and the atmosphere of a beautiful city.
I remember the afternoons on the Pincio, from where you can see all the roofs of Rome. I remember the mornings skipping school, just hanging out in the streets, with nowhere to go, nothing to do but just exist. Sitting down on a bench just writing my diary.
The Colosseum, at the time a daily sight, now more special than anything. The Angel castle, St Peters, the cobbled streets, the churches, Trastevere, Porta Portese, all routine, now unattainable nostalgic dreams.
Rome, just the name evokes memories so strong they hurt. I was last in Rome in December, the sun was shining, I was driving a car for the first time in the city and everything felt just so right, every corner, every street felt like home. Every person felt like a friend, every building, every monument, every bus or every traffic light, felt so mine.
London is beautiful, but Rome...Rome is just it. There is no possible comparison. The feeling of love towards my city it's like an impossible love.
I cannot live there, it's crazy, the place is too expensive, there are no jobs, it's the most chaotic city on earth, the transport, the dirt, it's just too much. But take away the need to work or rent a place or travel on a deadline, and yes, it's the perfect place.
I don't mean to make it sound horrible, but if you do work there, it can be very stressful. At least it can if you want to be at work on time.
The traffic is outrageous, and the metro is nonexistent, the buses a joke.
But.....when you do go out and just enjoy the city with nowhere to go or nowhere to be, that's when you really take it all in and live it to the maximum. So maybe Rome is an holiday place, and that's what it will always be for me. My home, my holiday.
And that's how I can really love it so much. I doubt I would if I was there every day with the daily frustrations. So, if you are away from home, do give in to the occasional afternoon of nostalgia, but also think that you have changed and that maybe home is what you make, home is where you are growing up now and that home is just in your heart. And wherever you go, you are your home, you are the most important factor. It's not about the places where you were happier, BUT you make the places the happiest. So wherever you are, even far from 'home' just make the best of it, because maybe home is not home anymore.