Saturday, April 21, 2007

Home

I am listening to my Italian music and travelling back in time. It feels great to just give in to the nostalgia and be transported for one afternoon back to Italy, back to Rome.
I miss the sunshine, I miss the ice creams in the afternoon, the rides on the Vespa on a Sunday on our way to the center.

I miss Rome and its effortless beauty.

I miss the streets with its shops and its fountains and the people laughing and walking around on a summer evening. I miss our river, the Tiber, so slow and beautiful, the red sunset, the romance of it all. The red wine and the pizza, the air, the smell and the atmosphere of a beautiful city.
I remember the afternoons on the Pincio, from where you can see all the roofs of Rome. I remember the mornings skipping school, just hanging out in the streets, with nowhere to go, nothing to do but just exist. Sitting down on a bench just writing my diary.
The Colosseum, at the time a daily sight, now more special than anything. The Angel castle, St Peters, the cobbled streets, the churches, Trastevere, Porta Portese, all routine, now unattainable nostalgic dreams.
Rome, just the name evokes memories so strong they hurt. I was last in Rome in December, the sun was shining, I was driving a car for the first time in the city and everything felt just so right, every corner, every street felt like home. Every person felt like a friend, every building, every monument, every bus or every traffic light, felt so mine.
London is beautiful, but Rome...Rome is just it. There is no possible comparison. The feeling of love towards my city it's like an impossible love.
I cannot live there, it's crazy, the place is too expensive, there are no jobs, it's the most chaotic city on earth, the transport, the dirt, it's just too much. But take away the need to work or rent a place or travel on a deadline, and yes, it's the perfect place.
I don't mean to make it sound horrible, but if you do work there, it can be very stressful. At least it can if you want to be at work on time.
The traffic is outrageous, and the metro is nonexistent, the buses a joke.
But.....when you do go out and just enjoy the city with nowhere to go or nowhere to be, that's when you really take it all in and live it to the maximum. So maybe Rome is an holiday place, and that's what it will always be for me. My home, my holiday.

And that's how I can really love it so much. I doubt I would if I was there every day with the daily frustrations. So, if you are away from home, do give in to the occasional afternoon of nostalgia, but also think that you have changed and that maybe home is what you make, home is where you are growing up now and that home is just in your heart. And wherever you go, you are your home, you are the most important factor. It's not about the places where you were happier, BUT you make the places the happiest. So wherever you are, even far from 'home' just make the best of it, because maybe home is not home anymore.

12 comments:

Pardon My French said...

What a nice post! I can't imagine what it must have been like to live in Rome...I know it's a cliche but it does sound so romantic. I'm getting accustomed to the idea of "Home & Holiday" and find that home isn't exactly home anymore when I go back (although I still love it). I think 'home is what you make' is the right attitude to have. It's better to live in the present and not the past!

Daniel B. said...

Hi. So what is your country of origin? Or are you just a globe trekking nomad?

Nice blog you got here.

Betty C. said...

This is a beautiful post. Even though Rome can hardly be compared to Olympia, Washington, I know what you mean by things feeling "so right" there. Yet when I go there, I'm always on vacation too.

I know you like to write. I have just got involved in a writing blog site called "Sunday Scribblings."

www.sundayscribblings.blogspot.com

Check it out. Your post on "Home" could fit in quite well with the theme this week which is "rooted." You might want to make a few minor changes to talk about the idea of roots...or not...

Tinsie said...

Great post, Erica :-)
I'm also a nomad of sorts, but have the opposite problem: I feel at home in more than one place and can't choose between them all!

Rachel said...

It isn't the places that make my home but the people that I surround myself with when I am there.
Whether I am sitting in a cafe chatting wtih friends or visiting my family in my heart I am at peace.
When I am at peace, I am home.

Marissa said...

A beautiful post! Rome is your special place. I think it's so important to have a place like that. I absolutely love it there as well. When i visited, it captivated me.

Erica said...

Thanks for your comments. I had not realised that there are so many of us living away from home, whether in a different city or different country!

Pardon My French - It was great to live there and it is in fact very romantic, even more so on holiday!

Daniel, thank you, I was actually born in Rome and moved to England at the age of 21.

Betty C - I will check that blog for sure, thanks!

Tinsie - Lucky you! But you must miss the sunshine from Greece.

Rachel - It's so true, it does have a lot to do with the people and friends surrounding you.

Marissa - I am glad you loved Rome, I sometimes might have rose-tinted glasses for my city!

Marg, the Sal. said...

I just had a nostalgia heart flutter when I read about the Vespa rides.

*sigh..

Cheryl said...

I've given a lot of thought to home in the past few years. I just try to make the best of where I am. But you do make Rome sounds some place I want to be!

Betty C. said...

As far as beach resorts, I am the worst person to ask! We never take beach holidays and live quite far from the Northwest of the country. So I'm sorry I can't be of much help. Try to find someplace that isn't too overrun with tourists, though.

Erica said...

Thank you Betty, I hope we will find something not too touristy, especially as we will be going in August!

Erica said...

Marg, yes the Vespa rides were great!

Cheryl, you should go once!