Future Regrets

I have always known I get bored easily in jobs, and so I never thought I would stay 5 years in the same one! If someone told me this 10 years ago, I would not have believed them. How did I get stuck on this job?

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful I have a good job and good pay in a place where people know me and respect me and I don’t have to prove to anyone how able or experienced I am, because they already know it. But there is something missing, I feel dissatisfied, bored, and emotionally unfulfilled, and what I do helps nobody and I feel I am wasting my time.

I keep thinking I want a new challenge, a new exciting career, a career where I can make a difference for people, but then I think of my lovely wage and how it would be hard to give that up to start from the first step of the ladder again at 29. As well, I am thinking of studying a bit more, but can I really make the sacrifice of working full time and studying in my spare time? I am married, and I want to be with my husband in my spare time. Maybe have a baby in 1-2 years, so what would be the point? Should I just stay here until I feel ready to have a baby?
Or should I take my destiny in my hands and do something enjoyable and useful with my life until I am ready to have a baby?

The answer seems so obvious, but it’s still hard. I don’t want to have regrets in 10-20 years time and wished I did something different, something that I love with passion, something that would make me jump out of bed in the morning, instead of dragging myself reluctantly to the shower. But how many people have that? Not many, maybe actors, maybe teachers, or singers, or book authors, I don’t know. I wish I knew back when I was 15, what my talent was and what my passion was, so that I could have studied towards such goals….. but I didn’t know what I was good at when I was 15, I wasn’t driven by ambition and money, I was just living my life the best I knew. I am not sure I even know now what my talent is anyway. My husband says I have a big heart and that I seem happier when I help people, and I should try and do something with that.

I will make a decision soon and will keep you posted!