We were nearly 4 years together and the way we left each other was horrible. First I left him by telling him that I was not sure about my feelings for him anymore. He took it ok, which meant he must have felt the same, but never told me, decided instead to cheat…but I didn’t know that at the time. We got back together after a couple of weeks, mainly because I was missing him like crazy, but I wasn’t sure whether I missed him or the idea of him. He cheated on me, than I did, then we split up again and then got back together the last time before he just never came home one night.
We just had rented a new flat and he left me with all the rent to pay, couldn’t get out of the contract, but couldn’t get a flatmate to share the rent with me as there was only one bedroom. So it was a nightmare scenario. When he finally got in touch, he said that he was back with the girl he was cheating on me with before.
It was the toughest period of my life and I suddenly felt so low and lonely. It was then that I started going out all the time and be single for the first time in a long time. I just couldn’t face being at home alone.
During this period I also went through some money that I received after an accident where I broke my leg in Rome. It was enough for a deposit for a home and I didn’t touch it for a while, but then suddenly single, I didn’t care about any stupid home, I was only 21, and so went about spending it all, day after day, month after month, hoping to fill my life and my heart with things….
In the meantime I was still working in a bar, but I decided then to take a chance and started going for interviews for an office job. I wanted to improve my life and I knew that working in a bar wasn't going to make me happy forever. I didn't have the time to dedicate to my job search with all the hours at the bar, so I quit. I quit without another job lined up; people called me crazy, but I knew that if I didn't do that, I would have never got out.
So for two months I frantically searched for something better and got myself into debt in the process, after having finished all my money. For two months I was broke and had to get credit cards just to pay my metro ticket, but finally I got a job as admin assistant in a London university. When I got my first paycheck I was ecstatic. It was ridiculous money, even less that I was making in a bar, but it felt really good after all the hard work.
My ex-boyfriend never supported this move, and never believed I could make it in any other job in England other than bars and restaurants, so this made me even more proud of myself. And good riddance of him!
Next time…. Crazy extravagances and debts spiralling out of control
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10 comments:
Next time sounds intriguing...
Sounds like a horrible breakup but you're doing a good job of standing on your own and becoming an independent woman. The best way to show him what he's missing and the best way to stop caring anyway! Good for you.
Being on your own for the first time is when you realize what you are capable of doing and achieving when you don't have a cushion to fall back on.
I have grown and done more for myself living 2000 miles away from my family then I EVER would have if they lived down the street.
I used them as a crutch and now I know I can do it on my own.
It is very empowering.
Well, another lawsuit happy person. Congrats on winning money you probably had no right to. Please stay overseas; we don't need anymore lazy, lawsuit happy people in America.
ANON1
Well anonymous, I never won any money through any lawsuit, I had an accident and the insurance paid the money to me. Never even had a lawyer, there was no need: a car run me over while I was on my bike and my leg broke very badly and I got some money from the insurance. What are you on ABOUT???
Thanks girls! Love all your comments.
Rachel - you are right, it is so empowering. You are very strong especially, and you should be proud of all you have achieved, D seems a very intelligent and kind son! I hope to have that one day!
So they settled out of court? Same thing.
I retract my statements; looks like you had a good case. I thought maybe you slipped and fell.
Carry on.
ANON1
I hope you feel good about yourself for coming out of a really difficult situation so very well! Bravo!
I love this post -- so honest and raw and real. I agree with Sister Bridget, you're doing a fantastic job of standing on your own two feet. Sounds like we live by the same motto (both directed at yucky exes): The greatest revenge is to accomplish what others say you cannot do.
Thank you Pam, I suppose I do feel good about it, never looked at it that way!
Marissa, you are right, it is the sweetest revenge! Thanks for your compliments!
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